# Who needs a laugh?



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Here is a good joke for all us plowers:laughing:
The Blizzard and the Blonde 

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow-plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. 

This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow-plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow-plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. 

After an hour had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snow-plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow-plow driver wanted to know if she was alright as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow-plow when caught in a blizzard. 

The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, and was going over to Sears next.:laughing:


----------



## Jguck25 (Oct 30, 2009)

Haha thats a good one, Kinda had a feeling it was going there


----------



## naturalgreen (Dec 6, 2008)

oddly enough i really needed a laugh today and that did help especially since im married to a girl like that


----------



## BossPlow2010 (Sep 29, 2010)

That joke is old as dirt! 

Last night I had a dream I was a muffler, woke up exhausted!


----------



## monson770 (Dec 18, 2010)

:laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

*plow on a hatchback?*

I found this video on youtube, I think its a hatchback, lol In soviet russia we use hatchback for plowing :laughing: Gotta love that 90's eurotrash for music too


----------



## theholycow (Nov 29, 2002)

JGD Handyman;1373451 said:


> I found this video on youtube, I think its a hatchback, lol In soviet russia we use hatchback for plowing :laughing: Gotta love that 90's eurotrash for music too


Meh. He can lift the blade and angle it...big deal. In America we can actually push snow with a front wheel drive small sedan, a Chevy Corsica to be specific...




Kickass.


----------



## Plow Nuts (Jan 11, 2011)

holy cow!!!!!:laughing:


----------



## Dr Who (Dec 16, 2010)

JGD Handyman;1348103 said:


> Here is a good joke for all us plowers:laughing:
> The Blizzard and the Blonde
> 
> It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow-plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.
> ...


:laughing::laughing:


----------



## Dr Who (Dec 16, 2010)

The Russian Sedan Video..WTF? I guess it would work..

The Corsica Video,  Wow I guess it does work, and looks to be doing an ok job..
Now if the dude had used duc-tape that would be a classic Red-Green project right there :laughing:


----------



## Flawless440 (Dec 6, 2010)

That was great!!!!!


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Check out this video, WOW what did he say to piss him off so bad?


----------



## peteo1 (Jul 4, 2011)

I want to know what happened to the operator after that pissed off guy showed up at the municipal garage.


----------



## theholycow (Nov 29, 2002)

That thing's got some serious traction!


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

LOL I think we all know what was said to the operater back at the shop. I also wonder what happend in the fight, Crazy New Yorkers, It's prob the same guy from the other video of the NYC operater crushing that suv, good for him he found another job, He might have to move out of state to get another operator job, lol


----------



## White Gardens (Oct 29, 2008)

This is one of my favorites.






....


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Here is how they do snow removal in Poland


----------



## SharpBlades (Sep 13, 2009)

One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." 
The wife went out and moved her car. 

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?" 

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."


----------



## JTVLandscaping (Jan 1, 2010)

BC Handyman;1508384 said:


> Here is how they do snow removal in Poland


I thought I saw someone video taping me while I was plowing...


----------



## coldcoffee (Jul 17, 2008)

*Someone just sent this to me...*

Only a person in OHIO could think of this.

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in COLUMBUS,OHIO after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."


----------



## 2ExploreSnow (Aug 30, 2011)

another Russian(?) car plow video --






As you can see, they include the family in the car, adds ballast, keeps kids off streets, teach them how to plow...

Actually, it's faster then some other vehicles, build up momentum and it goes through a decent amount of snow. Doesn't beat a good tractor, but hey, it works


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

2ExploreSnow;1509171 said:


> another Russian(?) car plow video --
> 
> 
> 
> ...


dont forget with the family in the car it keeps dad warm, since the heater is prob shot
just the sight of it makes me laugh not to mention the driving lights mounted to the blade:laughing: Maybe we are just spoiled with our trucks & such:whistling:


----------



## theholycow (Nov 29, 2002)

BC Handyman;1509176 said:


> dont forget with the family in the car it keeps dad warm, since the heater is prob shot
> just the sight of it makes me laugh not to mention the driving lights mounted to the blade:laughing: Maybe we are just spoiled with our trucks & such:whistling:


They probably laugh at us for needing $45,000 rigs weighing 8,000 pounds to push snow when they can get the job done with an 800 pound car that was a piece of crap when it was new 30 years ago. "I get job done. Ees American snow made of iron?"


----------



## White Gardens (Oct 29, 2008)

BC Handyman;1509176 said:


> dont forget with the family in the car it keeps dad warm, since the heater is prob shot


Na, they're probably saving money on daycare bills. 

.....


----------



## jasonv (Nov 2, 2012)

theholycow;1373716 said:


> Meh. He can lift the blade and angle it...big deal. In America we can actually push snow with a front wheel drive small sedan, a Chevy Corsica to be specific...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Holy crap, that is actually a really cool switch! Definitely put a meyer switch to shame.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

*In the News today*

In the news today....


----------



## northernsweeper (Aug 26, 2004)

I had been having stomach pains so the wife drug me to the doctors office. After my exam, the doctor said I'll need a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample. What did he say I asked my wife? He said he wants your underwear!!:realmad:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

One of my employee's didn't show for work today, but I did get this email.....


----------



## coldcoffee (Jul 17, 2008)

Ever had a friend work for you that was anything like this?

Many years ago I had a friend who would work or fill in as spot labor, mainly because he was lazy and couldn't hold a long term job w/ anyone, but bounced around between myself and a couple of other contractors. He was a true glamor boy who actually lived more like a house boy where his girl friends would house, clothe and feed him. He was a lady killer in his own way, mainly w/ older women.

Aside from being a terrible laborer, he actually was an excellent snow plower...when he wasn't breaking something. In one season he cracked a windshield, smashed the rear quarter pannel that had just been fixed from the previous season (the paint wasn't even cured yet), added slop to the whole drive train & if that weren't enough...he caught his pants & the seat of my personal truck on fire while riding shotgun...because he was rolling his foot on a self igniting blow torch. 

At the end of the season, I had to do lawn repairs and reset the gravel on several lots and roadways...that was to be expected. Because of the shear volume of that particular contract, I opted to use a rock hound w/ a skid steer. He was working as my ground man doing some easy raking and fine tuning. Much of the time he was watching me work or I'd catch him looking in the truck mirror fixing his hair. 

I was getting near my breaking point, but kept reminding myself that I wouldn't need him after this job was done. After I had to keep shutting down the machine to tell him what I needed him to do...he actually asked me when we were going to break for lunch, as he proceeded to go inside of a porta-john, which was mounted on a pallet. 

He was clueless. For several years I had tried to help him like a brother and this was his opportunity to pay off some of his damages that he had caused to my equipment from all of his carelessness. I was trying to give him every opportunity that I could think of, to justify saving the friendship and let him off the hook.

I don't know what came over me...As I was sitting on the machine, I could here him singing inside the porta-john. I'm irritated and he's singing? It was at that moment...I swung the rock hound sideways as hard as I could into the side of the porta john, almost causing it to flip....About as fast as I hit it, he came flying out the door w/ his pants down around his ankles, hitting the ground yelling and screaming. He also had blue water on his pants and boots. As the door sprung back, a gush of water came flowing out the bottom.

I never laughed so hard in my life...it was the kind of laugh that you have a hard time breathing. The look on his face and the tone of his voice was priceless, as he was still trying to understand what had just happened.

As he looked up at me sort of dazed and confused...I just said...I'm hungry, lets go get some lunch...and oh yea...ride in the back.


----------



## buckwheat_la (Oct 11, 2009)

coldcoffee;1522618 said:


> Ever had a friend work for you that was anything like this?
> 
> Many years ago I had a friend who would work or fill in as spot labor, mainly because he was lazy and couldn't hold a long term job w/ anyone, but bounced around between myself and a couple of other contractors. He was a true glamor boy who actually lived more like a house boy where his girl friends would house, clothe and feed him. He was a lady killer in his own way, mainly w/ older women.
> 
> ...


BWAHAHAHA!!! That is so awesome, I am going to be smiling about it all day...


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

lol, I've wanted to do that at times to certain guys. On another note, here is a cool vid(older) but I still think it is awsome! Everything about it is great, writing,music, cameo's I'd love to make a video this good.


----------



## OC&D (Dec 2, 2009)

coldcoffee;1522618 said:


> Ever had a friend work for you that was anything like this?
> 
> Many years ago I had a friend who would work or fill in as spot labor, mainly because he was lazy and couldn't hold a long term job w/ anyone, but bounced around between myself and a couple of other contractors. He was a true glamor boy who actually lived more like a house boy where his girl friends would house, clothe and feed him. He was a lady killer in his own way, mainly w/ older women.
> 
> ...


That's the kind of thing that's funny to read, but even more hilarious to watch!:laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

*Lets sing together*

Well since it's Christmas season I figured I'd share a christmas carol with you all, feel free to see along:whistling:

Dashing through the snow in Birds rusty Chevrolet.
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires.
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive Birds rusty Chevrolet!

I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer.
Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops.
I have to drag my plow just to get the car to stop.

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive Birds rusty Chevrolet!

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke!
I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway,
Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh!

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive Birds rusttttttttty Chevroooooooleeeeeet!

:laughing::laughing::laughing:


----------



## BossPlow2010 (Sep 29, 2010)

BC Handyman;1527751 said:


> Well since it's Christmas season I figured I'd share a christmas carol with you all, feel free to see along:whistling:
> 
> Dashing through the snow in Birds rusty Chevrolet.
> Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
> ...


I lol'ed.......


----------



## jhall22guitar (Dec 11, 2011)

BC Handyman;1527751 said:


> Well since it's Christmas season I figured I'd share a christmas carol with you all, feel free to see along:whistling:
> 
> Dashing through the snow in Birds rusty Chevrolet.
> Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
> ...


:laughing::laughing:Thumbs Up
New hit song!


----------



## trustyrusty (Dec 31, 2008)

BC Handyman;1523049 said:


> lol, I've wanted to do that at times to certain guys. On another note, here is a cool vid(older) but I still think it is awsome! Everything about it is great, writing,music, cameo's I'd love to make a video this good.


Now THAT.... is WIERD!


----------



## OC&D (Dec 2, 2009)

BC Handyman;1523049 said:


> lol, I've wanted to do that at times to certain guys. On another note, here is a cool vid(older) but I still think it is awsome! Everything about it is great, writing,music, cameo's I'd love to make a video this good.


Well, she wouldn't be hard to look at sitting in the passenger's seat at 3 in the morning. I'm pretty sure that would wake me up!Thumbs Up


----------



## trustyrusty (Dec 31, 2008)

Sidewalks aren't that bad...


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

trustyrusty;1529670 said:


> Sidewalks aren't that bad...


That is funny..... here kids take the blower to school & make sure you do the Johnsons & the Smiths, when you go by. :laughing:


----------



## coldcoffee (Jul 17, 2008)

It's an oldie, but still a goodie....."How to deal with a Telemarketer"...


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

.............


----------



## OC&D (Dec 2, 2009)

Awesome! :laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Screw work, I just wanna build snow boobs all dayThumbs Up


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

BC Handyman;1549172 said:


> Screw work, I just wanna build snow boobs all dayThumbs Up


I rather work :laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

This is how to remove snow from a roof with a broom


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Ok I always keep it snow related, but I thought this one is just too good not to post. Made me laugh.
______________________________________________________________________________

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

BC Handyman;1558137 said:


> Ok I always keep it snow related, but I thought this one is just too good not to post. Made me laugh.
> ______________________________________________________________________________
> 
> A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
> ...


Bhahahahhaha :laughing:


----------



## PLOWLO (Aug 8, 2009)

BC Handyman;1558137 said:


> Ok I always keep it snow related, but I thought this one is just too good not to post. Made me laugh.
> ______________________________________________________________________________
> 
> A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
> ...


youre so awesome!!!!! haahahahaha


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the second.
“That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?”
“It’s very uncomfortable at first”, says the second man. “You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?”... “I had a heart attack,” says the first man. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.” The second man shakes his head. “That’s so ironic,” he says.
“What do you mean?” asks the first man.
“If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.”


----------



## Flawless440 (Dec 6, 2010)

2 year old thread, still going strong


----------



## Flawless440 (Dec 6, 2010)

BC Handyman;1549172 said:


> Screw work, I just wanna build snow boobs all dayThumbs Up


Thats great:laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Well it's hump day in the week, so I thought someone might need a giggle or at least an idea for that pesky neighbor


----------



## MSsnowplowing (Nov 1, 2012)

*My new sidewalk guy*

My new sidewalk guy. A little slow but he clears a good path.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

GV is working for you?Thumbs Up


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"


WIFE: "In the pool."


----------



## Mike S (Feb 11, 2007)

Here is a good one, a company that will remain name less that I do work for; the other day I was finishing my salt route for them and it was still snowing, they call and said they needed me to cover a couple of buildings that they do, I say ok but am thinking what the heck they must of had a break down or some thing thats crazy by now the customers have to be screeming. I start salting and I am thinking this is really bad and some one will be getting in trouble, turn out of the second building and I find where the trucks and employees are, they are edging mulch beds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Just got off the phone with a old friend who lives in northern Newfoundland.

She said that since early this morning the snow has been falling and is nearly waist high. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.
Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Many of us will have seen this game being played recently


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

One funny looking plow I say


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Your right that is funny:laughing:


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

tymusic...


----------



## 2006Sierra1500 (Dec 28, 2011)

BC Handyman;1527751 said:


> Well since it's Christmas season I figured I'd share a christmas carol with you all, feel free to see along:whistling:
> 
> Dashing through the snow in Birds rusty Chevrolet.
> Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
> ...


Really old post but whatever. I love this song....and it sounds like you described my Tahoe perfectly, rusty, muffler gone, brakes suck, but she runs great!


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

what the.... how the..... I dont think I should guess what disability What disability involves your head up your....


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Coming to an ad near you.........


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Don't worry cause after the collision shop(from the previous ad) you can go buy a car from this guy


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

LOl I see what you did there


----------



## Snoviper (Jul 10, 2003)

LOL....:laughing:


----------



## Glenn Lawn Care (Sep 28, 2009)

Hahaha I've heard that one before.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Rob Ford....mayor of Toronto.......


----------



## derekbroerse (Mar 6, 2004)

Mayor Rob Ford - Crack Remix


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

lol I saw the crack remix, buddy did a good job making that vid.


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

hmmm


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

*twas the night before a plowman's christmas*

Twas the night before a plowman's christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the block,
was the sounds of beeping, then a loud FOCK!!
The lights were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes the plowman would not wreck them there.

The children were nestled all snug in thieir cots,
when they saw flashes & heard, what sounded like shots.
The plowman was sorry, the customers in a flap,
The plowman desroyed lights, cause he should've had a nap.

When out on the street there arose sush a clatter,
another plowman crashed his truck, then he tried to scatter!
Away through his window, he flew like a flash,
then he got winded, & threw up his good stash.

Then there he lay, on the fresh fallen snow.
He was pissed drunk & he was from Buffalo.
Why what great timing, the cops are now here.
To jail went the drunk, cause he had too many beer.

Back to plowmen who took out the lights,
He apoligized quick, as it was only right.
The customer was shaking, she was still pissed!
she yelled & yelled & I think she even hissed.

You masher, you basher, you bad plow man!
All he could do, is again say "sorry mam".
Now onto the next job, it was on top of a hill.
Oh he wished he had ballast, for new tires he'd Kill.

Every storm he has a few problems,
if you ask him, he thinks it's goblins
His route is almost finished, I think he thanked god, 
as soon as he's finished, onto Plowsite he logs.

He starts to blog, asking questons, but does not listen.
If you wondering, I think he's from Michigan.
This ends our story of our plowmans plight,
so Merry Christmas to all, and all a good night!!!

Written by JGD, aka BC Handyman, on Dec 24 2013

Merry Christmas to all my plowsite friends, have a safe a happy Holidays!!!


----------



## Chineau (Aug 24, 2010)

^^^Well done^^^Merry Christmas and Happy New year. May the only flakes you deal with be on your blade, bucket or shovel.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Chineau;1695340 said:


> ^^^Well done^^^Merry Christmas and Happy New year. May the only flakes you deal with be on your blade, bucket or shovel.


:laughing: lol thanks, Chineau


----------



## Dogplow Dodge (Jan 23, 2012)

Very good !

For some odd reason it reminds me of someone on these boards... but I can't think of whom.....?


----------



## Dogplow Dodge (Jan 23, 2012)

I have a friend who I thought lived in Brick, but turns out it was another town as he's not far from there, but another town over. We go there a couple times of year for BBQ's, beer, boating and some more beer. Good friends are hard to come by, so I figured I'd make up my own xmas card just for them...



Seasons greetings to you, all down in Brick.
The time is here, to welcome old fat saint nick
I don't recall, how long it's been
I'm sure by now, you're full of sin.


Our wish to you, we doesth just make
A time of joy, some cookies to bake
Some family and friends, the seasons doesth bring
To gather around, to laugh, fart or sing ?


Someday, it's true we'llgather again
With smiles on face, and beers downing then
Reading glasses in hand, and pizzas on grille
We'll meet again, if fate doesth will


So my thoughts of you(S), this very day
Be glad your happy, but not be gay
Cause gay today, way too cool to be
you might have thoughts, not fond of me.


Good tidings, good friends, good boat bottoms I wish for you
Hope the days ahead are the best you knew.


Up yours !


----------



## Dogplow Dodge (Jan 23, 2012)

after I realized from their return email that they don't live in Brick NJ, but Toms River NJ, I had the challenge of redoing my poem... as my buddy made a stink about not living in Brick...

So I revised it.. He's a very "LARGE" man, so I call him Sasquatch or Yetti. He gets excessively drunk and mushy, how much he loves everybody, etc... hugging everyone, crushing the air out of your lungs... etc.... so I bust on him that's really kind of funny, as how sloppy he gets when drunk. He forgets to eat first, prior to drinking, so the booze gets to him very quickly.. he hates it when I bust his chops about his wishy washiness, but that's what good friends are for, right ?

_

There once was a Squatch from Toms River
Who's parties, Bud Light we'd deliver
With Stoli in his red cup, his breath, short and abrupt 
Bear hugs that would make any man quiver....

That night, when almost asleep
The Yetti, startled by the sound of some creep
Standing at the foot of his bed, with his hands on the top of his head
T'was a naked man, that no one wants to meet.

The Yetti, he let out a scream
was this some sort of wacky dream?
Startled by St Nick at the end of his bed, with his hands on the top of his head
No doubt, this was really a bad scene..

Yes, a man at the end of the bed, 
with a felt cap, that was made up in Red 
And two bells tied to the end his hose, 
in his teeth, he held a small rose
A man, naked at the end of his bed.

Santa Clause, it soon came to light
Entered the Yetti's house, that dark fateful night
A man with a long white beard, oh yes my friend, you think this sounds weird,
Naked in the middle of the night

As the Yetti cleared the grit from his eyes
He looked again, and soon realized
That this was some sort of dream, no matter how real it may seem.
He gasped, at the end of his fright.

The Yetti turned back to his bed, 
sugar plums danced happily in his head
It seems the Stoli had done it's evil deed.
And planted some freakish, unnatural seed.

So, what is it today, that we have learned here?
From this tale, this story of fear ?
If you drink long before you eat, 
large naked men, so you too, also shall meet
Or, it may be that you're just turning queer.

Christmas, my dear wacked out friend
Drink lightly, or you may defend
Yourself, of a large naked Saint Nick, 
with a jingle bell strapped to the end of his dick.
And you too, would wish that it was the end..

Good night all !_


----------



## Dogplow Dodge (Jan 23, 2012)

*The Bird*

_T'was a week before Christmas
And the Bird was about
The truck in the repair shop
He went looking about.

He hopped up on Plowsite
and posted some links
From Craigslist, and from elsewhere
Of value, he thinks

The friends and companions
Of Plowsite web place
In vain, tried to warn him
He'd fall on his face

Rust buckets and junkers
He couldn't get past
Too rushed, just to think straight
No trucks, that would last

Many tried to tell him
To take his good time
Not listening to any
He'd made up his mind.

He found his green monster
In threads, he would share
The headaches before him
The burden, he'd bear

Now problems, they plague him
He works, trying to repair
The pressure he's feeling
It borders despair

Snows heading his way now
Both trucks, oh not so good
Neither mechanically sound
Nor run as they should

There's some, who feel compassion
But most, they don't care
Bird's plight he created
Bird's burden, he'd bear

Thread views, they're abundant
And some wonder why?
What makes us return there?
What makes him still try ?

Bird, he's tenacious 
It won't let him stop
Simplistic , he may be
A mechanic, he's not

Admire, or despise him
One thing, that is true
He'll keep persevering 
He'll keep being screwed

For most, our own worst enemy
Is something we are
A trait found in humans
Found near and found far.

One thing, that he does have
A heart full and bold
Lack of common sense, it seems
Is the problem, I'm told

So bash, and belittle him
You'll look like a wizz
Let's learn to accept him 
He is who he is.._


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

The Bat tractor......


----------



## derekbroerse (Mar 6, 2004)

Agreed... what a waste.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

it's on FB, but it's got some funny ones.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=607376012645549


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

He used what?


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

I dont need to say much but here it is.


----------



## quigleysiding (Oct 3, 2009)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/554...4459631&set=vb.136214023141945&type=2&theater


----------



## derekbroerse (Mar 6, 2004)

xgiovannix12;1728130 said:


> I dont need to say much but here it is.


Oi..... is that the Birddmobile?? What did he do this time?


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

derekbroerse;1729963 said:


> Oi..... is that the Birddmobile?? What did he do this time?


ya thats when he backed into the flag pole


----------



## JimMarshall (Jan 25, 2013)

xgiovannix12;1730101 said:


> ya thats when he backed into the flag pole


Where's he at nowadays?


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

around  he just posted in what did you do today thread.


----------



## Maine_Train (Dec 16, 2009)

^^^ Where they are cheerfully ragging on him about the insurance payment for his truck bed. 
"The Rodney Dangerfield of PlowSite."


----------



## JimMarshall (Jan 25, 2013)

xgiovannix12;1730149 said:


> around  he just posted in what did you do today thread.


Oh good. I really enjoy reading his posts.


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

JimMarshall;1730168 said:


> Oh good. I really enjoy reading his posts.


better read quick...and often, they disappear quickly sometimes


----------



## siteworkplus (Nov 7, 2011)

joke of the day
women walks into her gyno's office and says to the doctor
I have an issue with the hormones you are giving me
What seems to be the problem ,he asks
She opens her blouse and reveals a chest full of hair
Oh my God, he exclaims, How far does that go down?
All the way to my ******, and thats something else we need to talk about


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

lol Perfect texture eh?Thumbs Up


----------



## Chineau (Aug 24, 2010)

Made think of something I was wondering about, has anybody ever witnessed a slip and fall on one of their properties?


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

No, but i did see a slip & fall on a competetors site that resulted in a broken arm & lawsuit


----------



## siteworkplus (Nov 7, 2011)

did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy?


----------



## fireball (Jan 9, 2000)

yes, and 5 of those 6 live here


----------



## BC Handyman (Dec 15, 2010)

Wow is all I can say.


----------



## xgiovannix12 (Dec 8, 2012)

BC Handyman;1894100 said:


> Wow is all I can say.


Lol is that even real ? guy in black car is like forget this im moving my car.


----------



## Chineau (Aug 24, 2010)

I was waiting for the driver to get out carrying a long white stick.


----------

