# How NOT to make a flyer



## Precedence (Oct 3, 2008)

This got left in my buddies mail box last week.


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## JeffNY (Dec 19, 2005)

Whiskey......Tango.........Foxtrot.


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## grandview (Oct 9, 2005)

Only problem I see is he didn't spell out the word"you".


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## cjasonbr (Nov 18, 2005)

lol read the bottom part. It's the best part!!!!

"-If you have work done a .50 [cent] fee is added; to cover all cell phone costs."

LOL who would want to pay someone to talk on the phone when they're supposed to be shoveling?

"Corners add $5-$10 dependant on size at our discretion"

LOL, guess he find it hard to turn the shovel. I dunno.


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## SKYNYRD (Jan 13, 2009)

yes sir i think i'll have another


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## CAT 245ME (Sep 10, 2006)

All I'll say is


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## Plowfast9957 (Feb 14, 2005)

I like the pie charts to clarify his hourly pricing. haha


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## ScnicExcellence (Jun 9, 2008)

i can't believe you found one of my flyers. i thought i would just be able to sucker a bunch of people into getting work done from me because they feel bad.


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## FordFisherman (Dec 5, 2007)

Those pie charts remind me of the SATs....I was trying to forget them


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## carl b (Dec 28, 2006)

OMG reading that has been the best part of my day LOL


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## EaTmYtAiLpIpEs (Aug 23, 2007)

where is this guy located at. i want to hire him to do my accounts and i will sit back and make money still lol


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## A Man (Dec 24, 2007)

ScnicExcellence;740976 said:


> i can't believe you found one of my flyers. i thought i would just be able to sucker a bunch of people into getting work done from me because they feel bad.


I hope that's a joke....................


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## fisher guy (Nov 11, 2008)

ummm that's defiantly a first i got a headache from reading the main part the fine print jeez i needed a magnifying glass the WTF who would sighn for that mess


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## Ramairfreak98ss (Aug 17, 2005)

lol, i love how a 10x40 driveway is $20 up to 14", holy crap! I didnt like snowblowing them at $40-50 a few years ago

and thats sweet $8 bucks to get your whole walkway shoveled out upto 6"!

Are they gonna measure everyones place that stops them mid storm, wait for cash, of course wont state the obvious but its funny. I think we should have to pay state or federal snow plow contractors fees for a license each year so they can let these guys keep going without a business or insurance lol.


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## creativedesigns (Sep 24, 2007)

Is JD Dave putting flyers in peoples mailboxes again!?!


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## Craaaig (Dec 10, 2008)

good thing that flier is very straight forward and easy to understand for the customer


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## shovelracer (Sep 3, 2004)

So much good stuff in there. My favorite is "Are you Old?"

Base rate $3.00
Ice Surcharge $1.50
Cell Phone Charge $0.50
Corner $10.00
150 lbs CC $150.00

That will be $165.00 please, can you make that out to cash.

Ramair, dont forget we are in NJ. That would be just like all the others. $100 / yr. No one enforces it, and someone somewhere gets a paycheck for 200K, but cant even tell you where their office is.


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## davink (Nov 22, 2004)

I am embarrassed that my first name is Dave also. I think I may have to change it!


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## Govbradst555 (Dec 18, 2008)

WOW There gonna push that kid forward a few grades..


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## FeelLikeANumber (Oct 15, 2005)

sounds like Dave is gonna have a sore back this winter and probably not make enough money to cover the hospital bills/pain meds. I wish I could get away with throwing extra clauses in every estimate. Sounds like he could charge an extra .50 cents just because its done on a tuesday!


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## iceyman (Mar 1, 2007)

you know your a ******* when....


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## big acres (Nov 8, 2007)

First line of ultra fine print... "I reserve the right to shift rates up."


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## Blazin (Mar 18, 2007)

I feel an anurism coming on from reading that!


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## rawdog (Feb 20, 2007)

at least hes creative


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## kootoomootoo (May 11, 2000)

Do the germans know you stole their code breaker.


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## Deckscapes (Oct 24, 2006)

I am going to add the cell phone upcharge into our contracts for next season!!!


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## Dustball (Dec 5, 2008)

I'm going to save the 50 cent cell phone fee and write him a letter when I need him.


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## Runner (Jul 21, 2000)

He IS getting $1000 a ton for salt, though...LOL


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## redman6565 (Jul 14, 2008)

proooofessssionnall


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## heather lawn spray (Mar 11, 2003)

JeffNY;740937 said:


> Whiskey......Tango.........Foxtrot.


Lima . . . . .Mike. . . . .Alpha. . . . . Oscar


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## Blazin (Mar 18, 2007)

I would be willing to bet the salt number was pulled from his ass though. The ad dosn't strike me as he being bright enough to figure out the math and charge that much.


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## heather lawn spray (Mar 11, 2003)

kootoomootoo;741189 said:


> Do the germans know you stole their code breaker.


Nope, I got the Enigma from a submarine. . .


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## heather lawn spray (Mar 11, 2003)

davink;741045 said:


> I am embarrassed that my first name is Dave also. I think I may have to change it!


You think that's bad. . . he's a Canadiantymusic


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## shovelracer (Sep 3, 2004)

Runner;741324 said:


> He IS getting $1000 a ton for salt, though...LOL


You all laugh. He's got a business plan. He lures you in with his $1.50 service and by the end of the hour youve gotten yourself a $50 bill.


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## BMWSTUD25 (Aug 21, 2008)

Plowfast9957;740959 said:


> I like the pie charts to clarify his hourly pricing. haha


yeah that made it so much easier for me to understand


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## Mister Plow (Jan 21, 2009)

I'll give him bonus points for at least being able to spell correctly.


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## Lencodude (Dec 30, 2008)

I am going use his ad next year! might get more business luring people with the $1.50 charge and ending up costing $100's after I am finish with the driveway per call!


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## IPLOWSNO (Oct 11, 2008)

you guys suck i spent an hour on that with my kids, so that they can got to college, and not have to plow snow, and bust theyre ass like i do, so we dont have the best computer and printer atleast theyre triyin.






















































































just kidding lol


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## redman6565 (Jul 14, 2008)

haha


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## Winterized (Mar 3, 2007)

The guy really did put a lot of thought into it..... Just very poorly executed. 

I have seen so called professional designers do work this bad.... and have an even stupider client pay for it. If this person had some therapy he may be a formidable competitor.


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## redman6565 (Jul 14, 2008)

if you say so


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## Dubliner (Aug 20, 2008)

I should print out that chart and save it for future reference!! LOLussmileyflag


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## redman6565 (Jul 14, 2008)

copyright laws lol


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## My bowtie (Jan 15, 2008)

Winterized;742727 said:


> The guy really did put a lot of thought into it..... Just very poorly executed.
> 
> I have seen so called professional designers do work this bad.... and have an even stupider client pay for it. If this person had some therapy he may be a formidable competitor.


I may need therapy after reading it....


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## jgoetter1 (Feb 23, 2007)

I also enjoyed the 'are you old' question.


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## Danscapes (Jan 12, 2008)

He's also good a math /$ .50 a foot X 30 = $1.50

Damn lowballers doing driveways for $1.50 that should cost $15,LOL


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## JohnnyRoyale (Jun 18, 2006)

*"Are you on drugs?"*


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## maple-guy (Jan 11, 2009)

As someone said previously; it is poorly executed and the guy may want to re-adjust some of his prices down the road. In the end, everybody do what they can to bring home a living and I'm sure that guy did his best.


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## Brant'sLawnCare (Jun 29, 2007)

Danscapes;743009 said:


> He's also good a math /$ .50 a foot X 30 = $1.50
> 
> Damn lowballers doing driveways for $1.50 that should cost $15,LOL


Your right. But obviously he didn't realize before he sent out all the fliers. He'll probably get a lot of disappointed people calling him.


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## Dustball (Dec 5, 2008)

Danscapes;743009 said:


> He's also good a math /$ .50 a foot X 30 = $1.50
> 
> Damn lowballers doing driveways for $1.50 that should cost $15,LOL


Actually it says 50 cents for every ten feet which is five cents a foot.


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## Ipushsnow (Oct 29, 2007)

If the dude can type up the fine print, why not type out the whole flier? Oh, that's right, doing pie charts in "Word" is kinda hard.


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## John Mac (Feb 5, 2005)

some people will make it and others won't, this is a example of the ones that won't. Just because this is the USA land of opportunity and all that stuff, not everyone is smart enough to be self employed, someone has to flip my hamburger.


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## andrewcarrigan (Jun 10, 2007)

thats something that you would see in edmonton alberta *******


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## ahoron (Jan 22, 2007)

Confuse your customers great idea


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## ScnicExcellence (Jun 9, 2008)

he is probably charge .50 for 10 sq ft. in that case 130 feet of sidewalk. would equal to 4 feet wide times 130 divided by the sq route of pie equals to $26 for the walkway. 



screw it next year i am changing my pricing method to this 

per cubic inch of snow.

400 sq foot driveway, 6 inches of snow. that is 28800 sq inches of snow now if i charge $0.001 per sq inch of snow i will come out with $28.80 per driveway. al pricing will be based on minimum of 6 inches. 

walkways would be charge in this fashion as well a regular walkway for my resi is about 20 to 30 feet
say 25 feet by 4 feet wide would equal to the equation of i make money. charging $0.001 i would get $7.20 per walkway.

Wow i can't believe that actually works out to what i charge for that type of job. i would seriously charge $35 per time for that job. but it would get complicated if it went above 6 inches because i charge one and half times regular rate for anything Above six inches, but still that is some formula and can't believe it would work for me.

lol wow that is a rock solid foundation for pricing if you wanted to go about it that way lol

just tell the customer you are getting a great deal only $0.001 per cubic incn of snow they would be amazed.


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## heather lawn spray (Mar 11, 2003)

ScnicExcellence;748721 said:


> he is probably charge .50 for 10 sq ft. in that case 130 feet of sidewalk. would equal to 4 feet wide times 130 divided by the sq route of pie equals to $26 for the walkway.
> 
> screw it next year i am changing my pricing method to this
> 
> ...


Most people in Kitchener aren't that bright, The bright one's are living in upper Beechwood

The temperature at the UW Geography weather station is is .3 degrees @ 02:00h


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## ScnicExcellence (Jun 9, 2008)

heather lawn spray;748723 said:


> Most people in Kitchener aren't that bright, The bright one's are living in upper Beechwood
> 
> The temperature at the UW Geography weather station is is .3 degrees @ 02:00h


that is where all my customers are. lol they pay on time and are never late. i do the owners of weber supply. and family members as well as a couple employees.


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## heather lawn spray (Mar 11, 2003)

stay with that neighbourhood and customer base
temp .3 @ 02:15h

forecast

rain will start at 05:30h


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## ScnicExcellence (Jun 9, 2008)

heather lawn spray;748727 said:


> stay with that neighbourhood and customer base
> temp .3 @ 02:15h
> 
> forecast
> ...


friggin right. i just can't wait to see what they say when i tell them about the new method of pricing lol.


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## ServiceOnSite (Nov 23, 2006)

Ramairfreak98ss;741013 said:


> I think we should have to pay state or federal snow plow contractors fees for a license each year so they can let these guys keep going without a business or insurance lol.


you must be kidding me?!?!?!? wtf


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## shott8283 (Feb 17, 2008)

good initiative... bad judgement as they say--

you guys are friggen damn histerical

capatalism at its finest


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## Longae29 (Feb 15, 2008)

Here's a great craigslist ad I found that I really thought I should post, don't know where else it belongs, here looked good.

http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/grd/1044591768.html


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